Marriage: Thoughts on Courting vs Dating

I have been thinking a lot lately about marriage. I have especially been considering the difference between old-style courtship and modern-day dating.

The Cambridge dictionary defines courtship as

the period in which two people have a romantic relationship that often leads to marriage

And dating as

to regularly spend time with someone you have a romantic relationship with

From that, I gather that while I can spend time with someone romantically, it doesn’t mean that I’m planning to marry them. However, I can date someone I’m in courtship with.

In the world today, people don’t really court, but they date. They spend time with an individual with no mutual intention of marriage involved. Dating is treated as a recreational activity; which can lead to destructive behaviors.

I’ve seen that when simply dating, it’s usually just about being able to have that someone to fill the void; a void that really only Jesus can fill. Not to mention that if Jesus isn’t at the center of both individuals’ lives then sin can easily take over since we end up right in the midst of temptation.

Unless both parties are willing to fight these temptations, then someone is going to either give in or leave. Which comes with many hurt feelings, egos, and pride that lead to the defaming of the other individual because of bitterness.

From now on, I would prefer to date in courtship rather than dating recreationally. Let our intentions be made known, and be clear. Let’s get to know each other in a way where we realize that this could potentially be forever, til death do us part. Let’s build each other up and see if we can actually make our relationship last. Let’s learn about each other and decide if we’re going to get through the good, the bad, and the ugly together.

At the end of the day, commitment is a decision that is made daily. Some days it might be easier than others, but it’s can be demoralizing to want to stay committed to someone when you don’t know if they see a future with you the same way you see a future with them.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬5 NLT

See my other post on relationship: A conversation about relationships

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  1. Dating has taken it’s roots in society such that it’s an essential activity for most people. It’s sad that it leads to much destruction.