Recently I started thinking about relationships and why we put so much weight on them. I needed someone to talk to about it, so I did what any sibling would do and I reached out to my little sister. Below is a portion of our back and forth that really got me thinking, and also brought some assurance.
Me: I’ve just been thinking about relationships and how exhausting they are and the reasons behind why people date/break up/get married.
Me: Like it all seems so superficial after everything.
Me: It’s like Ultimately we get into a relationship to satisfy our desire to be loved by another individual, as well as our longing to be able to pour ourselves into someone and be accepted.
Her: Yeah, the desire comes from God because we ultimately seek to be loved by Him. Relationships/marriage is just so that other person can show you characteristics of God from a different perspective
Me: Yeah, so basically, with God we should be fulfilled already. So why do we continue to look towards another for things Christ has already given us?
Her: Because sin
Me: Lol, I guess. But we should be freed from the power of sin, and it should no longer dictate our actions
Her: We are freed from sin, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have desires from some things of this earth. Our flesh and spirit are always at war, we just choose who we want to live according to
Me: But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)
Romans 8:9 NLT
Me: Yeah, but if we’ve already chosen to let Christ be Lord, why should we still battle with sin?
Me: (Sorry, I’m not coming at you or anything, nor am I saying that you’re wrong. I’m just challenging our thoughts)
Me: The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live.
Romans 8:11-13 NLT
Her: I agree, I think I disagree with the statement that we get into relationships because we desire to be loved by another individual. I think that is true for people who aren’t Christians. But for Christians they should be satisfied with the love they receive from Christ. Christ may put in you the desire to be with someone because He may want you to get married because His plan for you is to glorify Him in your marriage, but not all are called to get married. Ultimately if we seek relationships we should be seeking it because we want to Glorify God with it not because we are lacking
I was really touched by this conversation. Conversing with others about Christ is such an enriching process. I recommend it for everyone. Find Christians you trust and bounce ideas off each other. Both parties usually end up learning from each other.
What are your thoughts on the conversation? Leave a comment below!