Life-Long Battle

Hi, my name is Cyntia and I was born with Sickle Cell Disease. Sickle Cell is when your blood doesn’t get enough oxygen so it’s not always round. Because of this, it can get stuck which can cause immense pain.

For me, a pain crisis It’s not just about the physical pain, but the mental, emotional and spiritual battles involved. Some episodes are more painful than others and the recovery time depends on the level of pain.

Recently, I just went through an especially painful pain crisis which really shook me. It made me question a lot of things. I felt like I could die. Everywhere hurt, my arms, my legs, my chest, and my lower abdomen. They usually ask about your pain level on a scale of 1 through 10 and each hurting area was a 10.

Some crises I can handle at home, but this one I couldn’t. So I went to the ER, and then got admitted the same night. I hate the pain medication, it makes my mind so foggy. I hate being in a hospital bed, the endless questions and shots, and vital checks. But that’s where I found myself, yet again.

As soon as I could manage without all the probing, I got discharged and took the rest of my recovery home. This video is part of that recovery process. I want to share my battle.

I felt so many negative emotions and had so many negative thoughts. I felt weak, so weak. I felt useless. I felt cursed, I felt like I was losing my faith. I felt like the pain would never stop. I felt like the angel of death was waiting for me.

Despite wanting to quit, I wasn’t about to give up. I knew that in my weakness God was my strength. I knew that Jesus died for me, so I wasn’t useless. I knew that Jesus also set me free from all bondage. And though my faith was shaken to its core, I wasn’t about to let go of it. Finally, My life doesn’t belong to me, but it belongs to Christ, so I can’t let the angel of death take me.

I still believe I have divine health, so I speak over my body on top of taking medication. One of these days this vessel will comply with the word of God. God’s grace is sufficient. I rejoice that In the testing of my faith comes patient endurance and the pain of this present moment doesn’t compare to the glory that will be revealed in me. Crying May last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.

It’s still hard though, especially with the pain still fresh in my mind but I will continue to work my faith. And like Job said, though he slay me, yet will I trust in him. After all, he is the author and finisher of my faith and he’s not finished with me yet.

Say this confession over your body:

I have the life of God in me because the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead is alive in me and revitalizes my mortal body.

From the crown of my head to the soles of my feet my health is perfected in Jesus’ name. Every fiber of my being operates by the power of the spirit that lives in me.

I am the temple of God, and anything that defiles this temple is destroyed in Jesus’ Name.

I cast out every demon of infirmity looking to take root within me in Jesus’ Name.

I am sound, I’m strong, I am well, I am loved, I am free, I am full of health in Jesus’ Name.

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3 Comments

  1. Gerald Ogwal says:

    Wow, am blessed and inspired